It has become increasingly difficult to keep up with my homesteading activities and real life activities. You know, cooking dinner, exercising, seeing friends, volunteering, SLEEPING? There’s just so much I want to do, but not enough time in the day for it. I’m really an “everything-or-nothing” person. I either go at something 100% or I say, fine, I can’t do it at all. And I hate that about myself, and really need to change it.
I love the homesteading-type things I do. It brings me joy in a way that no one understands, because I’m weird like that. 🙂 But it is also just adds more things to my already very full To-Do list. It’s gotten to the point that I can clean, iron, do laundry, go apple picking, make butter, go food shopping, can applesauce, and I STILL feel worthless because I didn’t make granola bars, clean out the fridge (like I’ve been meaning to for WEEKS), work out and get to relax a little bit on my day off.
Why this attitude? I really don’t know how that came about. I’m sure it’s a control-thing. But there are only so many hours in the day, especially the work day. And it’s not very reasonable to think I should come home from work, cook dinner, bake, garden, work out, and can, all in that evening before bed.
I actually did some searching online today to find out how other people who are into homesteading balance work/life and their homesteading stuff, and found this post, which made me feel a bit better. It still didn’t solve my problem though, and I think it’s because there is no solving that problem. There are only so many hours in the day. Perhaps I could do it all if I were a stay-at-home wife or mom (or perhaps not!) but I can’t do it all with work.
So, I’m not really sure how to balance myself. I was thinking I could save the homesteading stuff for the weekend, but then I just see my weekends being laden down with all these things I need to get done, resulting in a very tired Chelle for the work week.
I could do less of it, but it just feels like I’m compromising on some of my principles then. If you know me in real life, you know I’m not very good at that.
And besides, what would I blog about then? 🙂
So I’m not really sure what to do. I do know, I need to figure it out, and soon, because I am sleeping like crap and feeling very bad (and worse, guilty!) about not doing it all.
And repeating to myself, “I’m not superwoman” over and over again just ain’t cuttin’ it.
So I will continue to mull this over, because I really do enjoy writing my blog and I really love doing the homesteading-type stuff I do. I WISH I could do more. But even what I’m doing is not sustainable with the life I lead.
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